"Going in Circles"

At what point do you know it is time to release and find your own way?  

Ever find yourself attached to other people's dreams and projects?  From the start you agreed to do it even when you knew you wanted to devote your time to your own project. Since you agreed you stay committed again to some else goal. You are the one left to feel drained. At what point do you walk away? Is that like giving up...is that doubting God? Or is that you trusting God and yourself? Knowing when you are not on your path is powerful...especially when you make peace with your need to find your own way. In a nut shell, I am ready to walk away from things that are not working for my life. I need my soul to be in agreement with whats going on externally. Inner war is not cute!

When you are struggling with and have no inner peace, its time to truly open your eyes!!!

Other people seem to know exactly what they want to do with there life. You seem to be the one to dragged into projects that can cost you time and even money. Are you the yes I can do this and that for you type of person. You feel like in your heart you never truly owned a moment in the present time. Your never truly owned your life or took responsibility to make or stick with a decision of you made for yourself. Why? Maybe because you want to believe you are being nice. How many projects can you say yes to before you realize you have over extended yourself. When will you make time for your goals, dreams and aspirations. So the excuse is you have none?? Then when will you make time to create your goals, dreams, and aspirations. Externally you are going in circles for the sake of acting nice. Hmm.

Are you wrong for having a feeling of needing to say NO? 

Trust God and yourself. Trust yourself when you are being guided from within. How long will you continue to immerse yourself in a life your heart is no longer included in.  The most important project is you growing as a person...that is the one you have avoided.  What is the truth that you wish you could change. That is the truth that needs to be embraced so you can be yourself 100%. You being authentic will learn to evolve and you will put yourself in situations you need to be in.  No one wants to go through the motions. If you continue to do that...you will continue to be used in so many ways. Trust God and yourself...take the time to do this so you can always be in tune with what is going on inside of you. If you inner man is screaming NOOO...while your mouth is saying yes...yes there is a problem. You are afraid of failing or you simply don't know where to start. Own that feeling...because after that the journey starts.

 Knowing your not on your path is powerful....because that is when the real work begins. 

When you have made yourself aware of your current situation, you have made yourself aware of the true state of your being. In this moment...it is very powerful. In the moment you own your current state of being you own your right to change it for the better. You may find yourself releasing people...especially the very opinionated ones. At the given moment in time...it is crucial to here your thoughts and feel your feelings. Respect the power of your feelings. You must work your way back to a state of being that is operating from your truth. Stop going in circles and find your way back to you by simply NOT ignoring how you feel. Your feelings and your heart will guide you right back to your path. Your test and even your passion. Peace and blessings.

Signs of Going Through the Motions

How many times do we question ourselves, asking what in the hell am I doing?  

You may find yourself in situations that you are yet so absent from...just going through the motions. Well, I have had many of those moments. My question is how long will you be absent from life?  No heart or passion for the experience you chose to make yourself apart of.  What have you proven to yourself? The zone of  "just existing" can be costly. We must take control of  our lives and be apart of the experience of choosing a path that brings inner peace.

We should question ourselves...that is a good thing sometimes!!!

Ever asked yourself what experience was so bad, that I decided to be feeling-less. Sometimes yes you can have life experiences that can numb you...if that is how we chose to deal with a negative life experience. You may have gotten to such a low point, that you did not want to feel anymore. You reached a point where the emotional pain was almost unbearable. Just to be able to keep living, to keep going on you decided to live a numb life...and "Go Through the Motions!!" It seems like unspeakable joy is far from your heart...has no place in your heart. All you know is you never want to feel that kind of low again. You may have forgiven those involved but you never gave yourself permission to open your heart again.You did not trust your own path back to love at some point. So in a sense you leave a lifeless love-less life. When you own that fact you can do something about it. You will forgive yourself once you get over being disappointed with yourself.

How do you know if your going through the motions? 

Oh you know when your going through the motions. Your laughter is not even  heart felt.  You can meet new people and go through the whole introduction process and never remember their names. Why? Because your never really present mentally. You could careless, your going through the motions trying to look like your engaged in conversation...life. Your really not. Oh I can laugh at myself. I don't know about you but this was me all day... The good thing is its good to be aware of your issues. Now the question is...how long my dear, will you keep up this act. Just living, without a purpose or plan....well that is how it feels. Someone takes the time compliment your work. That compliment goes in one ear and out the other.

What are you trying to prove to yourself by choosing to live by going through the motions???

Oh yes...going through the motions can look like your living and going on with your life. This is the external look you give to others. Going through the motion keeps you in motion. Sitting in your room dealing with deep bouts of depression is no longer necessary. At least you have decided that is not how you are going to live. You have your broken belief system that functions without recognizing your victories or small feats. When going through the motions you can still matriculate through school and get all kinds of accolades. You can go through the motion in relationships...never truly loving the person that loves you. This was my life. I did things that I could not put my heart into. Someone is reading this and thinking...she knows my life. By not involving your heart you think your stronger...no one can hurt you. Your a little edgy with your words. To you it is you being stronger. Its a lose lose situation when your not living from the heart.

Why can this mindset be costly???

Never truly healing from the heart is always costly. A broken belief system,... as quiet as it is will be heard loudly in your decisions. You may matriculate in this and that but you will find yourself in situations that are not good for you. This is not a bad thing...the moment you look at yourself and understand what your doing and you can decide why you must change. That is powerful. You can't because that call will not go away. You will have times when you wish you could love deeply again. You'll have times when you fake yourself into believing your ready for that kind of commitment. Its costly when reality steps back in and you have involved others in your mascaraed. They only fell for the role you were committed to for a short moment in time. Are we horrible people...not at all. Beautiful people scared to love and live again. You may tell your self, an exit phrase, "I just don't know how to feel that way again." You cannot throw yourself in someone else's life and expect that situation to change you. 

What are the actions to take...for my situation?

 You must accept what you can not change. Embrace your past and stop labeling  your life experiences and lessons as horrible. Why do we only show love towards ourselves when things are perfect? We tend to appreciate life and love ourselves more when it seems we are mistake free. Understand, you will not have the answer to everything and walk away from life untouched by mistakes and let downs.

Understand your imperfection-less world never existed. Go back if you are able and apologize if you know you wronged someone. Guilt will keep you up at night. We have to be honest  with others and ourselves about are life experiences. You have condemned yourself because of your past. Come to grips with your past...deal with it...and please stop judging yourself. Forgiving yourself is the work. When you have self hatred you cannot sleep peacefully. When you try to sleep that is when you deal with the real issues of your heart. Then you wake up feeling terrible. That is  how you start your day. Instead of dreaming your reminding yourself of everything you cannot change. What a nightmare!!! The fact is, your still an awesome person...if you don't see it. You have to gain respect from yourself. I told myself, yes people have wronged you but I have done the most damage to myself. Go back in your past. When did you start beating , what is the origin of you beating yourself up?? Address that first. Was the situation that serious? Was the negative thought or belief you formed behind that situation even logical. Where else have you applied that way of thinking in your life. Was it worth the time adopting this negative belief as your own? That is how you have to look at it. Stop treating the beliefs you developed as a child as facts. Peace and blessings my friend. I know your uncomfortable reading this.. that means I did my job. Make the change.